May 16

So have you ever woken up and looked at the calendar and said to yourself..."hmmm, this date sounds familiar...what am I supposed to be doing today??" Well in my case May 16th was my EDD from my October MC. So finally this dreaded day has arrived, and believe it or not...with very little fanfare, as I stated before I honestly woke up and was like " What am I supposed to be doing today?" "Having a baby, that's what." By this date, I had hoped that the nursery would be filled with a happy and healthy little one, but instead the "nursery" is still the messiest room in the house...our office. I am though, excited about looking forward to January.

I am very excited about this pregnancy, though everyday I am freaking out even more. I could not have imagined the anxiety that comes with pregnancy after a loss. I am constantly looking into every non-symptom, constantly running to the bathroom to check for spotting, it is almost consuming my first trimester. I actually joined an online group of ladies that are going through the same thing right now, so it has actually been very comforting to chat with them on a regular basis and hear all their concerns and feedback. I am not alone in my fears and anxiety, which helps me calm down a bit. I haven't had a ton of symptoms...boobs def. are growing a bit, cramping has subsided and I am slightly nausea once or twice a day. To this point I have only thrown up twice, not really as tired as I was initially, but I do find myself having late night snacks due to hunger. I am looking at all this as positives, because it is very similar to me DS's pregnancy...which was symptom free the entire time.

I have had my first appt. which was very uneventful as well, it was with the nurse and she collected medical history and I had my bloodwork done(which I haven't gotten a callback...so no news is good news, right?). I am now set for my "real appt" first exam and ultrasound at my 10 week mark. Also since the nusre is going off of LMP my due date as of now is set for January 4th, I am sure that will change once I see the doc due to my longer cycles.

Recently my son(who has been asking for a brother or sister for a while)said to me while we were in the car, "Mom, I want a baby brother or sister in January, so you can be pregnant and have the baby in August"(his bday month). I freaked out because we have only told two people and haven't told him AT ALL, so for him to bring up a baby and January, I know that that is a sign. So as of now, I am looking forward to my bday in a few days and I am getting more and more confident in this pregnancy. So on this May 16th my EDD, I am going to go out and spend this entire gorgeous Sunday with my son and be very appreciative for everything that he has brought into my life.